why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
