Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
