I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize