when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize