I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
