I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
