If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
