New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
