His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
