Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
