thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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