Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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