Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize