after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
