i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
you made out with another girl for some wings
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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