in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
