Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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