so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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