My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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