apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
