Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
