ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I need moral support for this bender
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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