i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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