I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
