His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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