he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
