Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
