so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
