You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
