I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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