i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
