cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize