There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
