the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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