you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize