I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
