well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
