i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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