Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
