I accidentally burped into my bong.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
