STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize