i don't like sucking hair
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
