My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize