so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
