So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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