I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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