Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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