She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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