i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
