Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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