I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
