VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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