do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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