I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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