She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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