Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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