she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
