I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Even my vagina gasped.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Vodka?
Forever.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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