apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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