her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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