I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
