I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
