Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
