im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize