I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
