just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
