omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The ass gains better be worth it
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