I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
