He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
